im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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