Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
