problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
