his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
