omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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