i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
