I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
