She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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