this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
