I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
