Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
