just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
