I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
