I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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