Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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