Pants 0. Shit 1.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
