I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
