I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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