You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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