Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
