As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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