My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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