I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
