so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
