it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
