My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I deserve this hangover.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
