she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
