: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
