It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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