so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
