yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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