i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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