The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
