You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
