I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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