I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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