Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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