i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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