My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
