I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
