At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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