dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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