just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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