I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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