Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
