it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
