We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
