glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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