Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
why is half of my head shaved?
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