Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
